Welcome to this essential guide from our new series!

Living ([sur-vi-ving]) with Wraiths

Image © Vilinathraxes & Ailanreanter

This easy-to-follow guide on how to get through the first troubles with your new undead neighbours is by no means a complete compendium on the matter discussed. Not all presented methods may work every time and on every undead individual, the author appeals to the mental capacities of the reader to take some safety preparations (better known as Plan B) for his own person. Also, the author is not responsible for any (lasting or not) personal damage of readers since the usage of this guide is for everyone at own personal risk. The guide is split in three easy stages of the getting-to-know-process- it begins from first sight and ends (provided the dear reader makes it there) with the successful living side by side for several months, even years. This being said, the author wishes many a nice minute enjoying the new and exciting company of such extraordinary creatures and hopes that this listing might be of help.

Stage I - Elementary
This stage applies to everyone who has never had contact to undead creatures before. It gives sound advice for the beginner.

Rules for the Novice:

> AVOID THEM if you can- if avoiding is impossible:
a) RUN if you are fast and magicproof and absolutely safe shelter is not farther than 5m away
(if that is not the case, remember the following:)
b)DO NOT RUN or make any hasty movement- stay calm, maybe they will, too.
c)DO NOT (meaning NEVER EVER) LAY DOWN and wait for help.

>FEAR THEM, but do not panic headlessly.

>TALK TO THEM - maybe they'll listen to you.

>BUY EARPLUGS - they will come in handy if you survive stage I

>HOPE AND PRAY

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STAGE II - Advanced
This stage shall help the 0,5% that have survived stage I to prolong their remaining lifetime a little more and also prepare the few
gifted people that will graduate to become an Expert one day.

Rules for the Advanced :

>A SNEAKING wraith always PLANS SOMETHING and a PLOTTING wraith never plans
something good.

> DO NOT CALL THEM SILLY NAMES- they won't approve of it.

> DO NOT ever LET YOUR GUARD DOWN- or be prepared to face the consequences.

> DO NOT GET IN THEIR WAY if they're hungry, horny or annoyed of something.

> DO NOT FALL ASLEEP in surroundings that maybe wraithinfested.

> WEAR CLOTHES that are not in the faintest way suggestive (keep them on by all means!!!)

> AVOID SAYING THINGS WITH A DOUBLE MEANING - if you're not sure, better say nothing at all.

> DO NOT APPEAR OVERLY INTERESTED in them - if there is a chance to misinterpret your intentions,
they will find it.

>THEY APPRECIATE physical closeness and will not kill you for a carefully applied dose of it - but
they will always be wraiths, so BE CAREFUL !

> NEVER go and HUG ONE of them just so if you don't intend to be the next five minutes entertainment.

>ALWAYS have a NERFBAT AT HAND

> NEVER ALLOW THEM to BUY YOU A DRINK/ HAVE a DRINKING CONTEST
with you.

> FEED THEM - a full wraith is a more lazy creature and less likely to do something drastic.

> CONSIDER THEIR INTERNAL RANKING and see to it that you don't violate it when you feed all
at once i.e.

>KEEP THEM WARM - a warm wraith is in best case blissfully zoned out and thus probably harmless for the moment.


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STAGE III - Expert
Congratulations ! You have already survived more than a year with your undead neighbours and can't quite imagine a life without them.
There is nothing much left to learn for you, now that you have reached EXPERT-level, merely a guiding last word for the successfully
graduated reader:

YOU MAY FIND THEM QUITE ADORABLE
when they have not tried to kill you for a while, now-
still, WRAITHS WILL BE WRAITHS, NEVER FORGET THAT !


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We hope you have enjoyed our guide-series. People who bought "Living with Wraiths" have also bought
"Living with a Nightmare" and pre-ordered " Living with a Dark Lord", by the same author-
now as special offer at the price of one. Please check out!

Text and idea © Ailanreanter